Everything But Education
by Cooking Spray
Summary: An attempt at a high school AU. Think of it as a quirky set of preliminary narratives pitched to a director and never written into a script.
1. Introduction

A Short Pre-Reading Note From the Authoress  
  
by Cooking Spray  
  
This is a well-traveled rut in the world of Slayers fanfiction. Indeed, anyone reading this has probably read at least a couple other fics following the same subject matter. In general, a lot of mass-produced ideas tend to deteriorate with quanity, as amatuers wielding pens ship out their version of the canon. And, if you've been unfortunate enough to stumble upon one of the really bad imitations, I know it can kind of damper the whole concept. People will generally be more critical than with something more original, because, well, its no stroke of genius. It's been done before.  
  
Well, here's my contribution to the whole 'Slayers High School' package. I have this addiction with taking common fanfiction bases and revamping them, Cooking Spray-style, just for the heck of my writing pleasure, and to show everyone out there that socially redeeming themes can be done the right way. And of course I have fun doing it, kind of like a side item. It gets people interested again.  
  
With that said, I feel the need to inform you of the character adaptations, considering basically we're taking the essence of the Slayers canon (a la' the plot) and throwing it out the window, then taking the characters, putting them in a modern setting, and finding ways to adapt their personalities and charms to the new environment, without taking away from what originally made them themselves. And yes, it can be done. (Isn't that the point of this fic?)  
  
Let's start with our heroine, Lina. Still intact is her general nature, carefree, spur-of-the-moment, energetic, positive, common-sense resourceful, and slightly irresponsible and fiery-tempered. Now, since we're making her a normal high-school girl, her sorcery powers are gone. Which is cleverly reinstated by a comic love for video games such as Gauntlet and Dungeons and Dragons. And since before she was feared and confronted for being the notorious apocalyptic bringer of sorcery hellfire, for the fun of it, we'll give her a little role reversal, and make her a freak with a bad-temper. Her hair and proportions further push along this fact. Also carried on is her love for food, which is easily fulfilled with modern substitutes that the old Lina probably would have died to try. See? She's still the Lina we know, just a bit........... well, if I dare, version 2.0? Can't you imagine her doing things like this provided the show be rearranged? Even Zelgadis. His stony skin is quickly shed for scars from a long-ago car wreck, deeming him a perfect candidate for outcast-dom and reinstating his pessimistic, dark, loner persona. And freaks flock together, right? So there you go, Lina's his instant buddy.  
  
Then we have Naga, the obvious, but harmless, antagonist. The real Naga was vain and haughty, and though not totally dumb, still belittled Lina a lot. So, why not make her a cheerleader? She's got the figure, and the mindset, and I'm pretty sure she'd be more than happy to accept the job. And we'll convert her belittling to loathing for Lina, who she sees as a threat to her reputation. A short, figureless orange-haired freak intimidating to her would definitely endanger it, no? And what better source of rivalry than Gourry? He's perfect football player material, the kind of jock that girls like Naga would lust after. And of course, Gourry's so dense he doesn't realize Naga likes him, so she does little more than fawn over him helplessly and then fume when he discusses video games with Lina. Do you see the plot begin to become recurring?  
  
Xelloss is relatively easy. His position is also neatly squared aside, which is kind of interesting, because it makes him human. He can still be his annoying, smiling self. Then this brings he and Filia's relationship into play. Filia's essential character is also pretty much intact, besides she's obviously not a Ryuzoku. Making up for the loss of her priestess-dom, we make her the daughter of Saichuro, a shrine owner, and give her the position of the ultimate goody-good, much like her righteous self. She hates Xelloss for disrupting her calamity rather than being a Mazoku, and he loves to provoke her anger because........... he's Xelloss. And since he can no longer do his disappearing act, and survive Filia's abuse, we give the practical joker Flo Jo running abilities. This also increases their abilities for coupledom, but throws more canon out the window. Which is either good or bad, depending on your viewpoint.  
  
And left over is Amelia. We trade her justice-idealism for Drama club, considering her obvious fetish for the melodramatic, and an innate sense of right and wrong, keeping her spirited, engimatic overbearing energy. To account for her loss of royalty, we give her a rich dad and a mansion. And there you have it, made-over Amelia.  
  
And somewhere in the thicket of all this revision, we have the obvious unsure attraction that Zel has for the opposite Amelia, and the pureness and likewise uncertainy she feels for him, Filia and Xel's love/hate relationship, and the whole Naga/Gourry/Lina love triangle. Plus a whole lot of zany plot-wise fun, and the new possibilities opened up by modern inventions. Wouldn't they all love a good old-fashioned chat on AIM? And what would Lina and Gourry think about Ring-Dings and McDonald's? It's something refreshing to think about.  
  
Anyway, now that you know the plot structure, if my not-so-subtle hints haven't prompted you to read the fruit of these efforts, do so now! Honestly, you won't regret it.  
  
Best Reguards and Lotsa Xel and Filia Love,  
  
Cooking Spray 


	2. Morning Ritual

Everything But Education  
  
by Cooking Spray  
  
Disclaimer: *sighs* Do I really have to say this? Nobody reads it anyway. All pre-existing disclaimers apply. So therefore, I own zip, nada. Besides the plot, of course.  
  
Authoress's Rambling: Konnichiwa, brothers and sisters of Xellia fandom! Welcome to my wonderful unorignal fic! But I'm determined to make this different, give it a little Cooking Spray touch. Not that I'm Queen Midas or anything, I just have to defy the cliche.  
  
And speaking of cliches, there are many used in this fic. So, if you're utterly upposed to being labeled, you can flame me, but the labels are totally meant to be unoffensive. They're there for the sake of humor. Believe me, I go to school, so I know the whole kit and caboodle.  
  
For the record, one last note: I know that Xelloss doesn't have a last name, but, for the sake of this fic, he'll adopt Zelas's. Kay? Good ^_^  
  
Japanese Word Glossary  
  
Ohayo gozimas- Good morning -chan- A cute way to address someone you are close to Namagomi- Raw garbage. Filia's pet name for Xelloss :P Yare yare- Kind of like, 'My, my' Hentai- Pervert Okaa-san- Mother Ja ne- See ya -san- Loosely translates as a courtesy title, i.e. Miss, Mrs. Pocky- A popular Japanese snack, sort of like a chocolate-covered pretzel stick. Comes in many flavors.  
  
Now, in all due respect, let's get this ficcie started!  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Chapter One: Morning Ritual  
  
Lina Inverse was, in all respects, the popular interpretation of a freak. There was no way to evade the fact. In a school populous dominated by beautiful, malicious cheerleaders and their jock boyfriends, her wild, orange hair, short stupor, and total lack of figure really didn't help her rise to the top of things. But to Lina it wasn't of importance, she simply shrugged things off. Her happiness mattered much more to her than public opinion.  
  
She pulled out an instruction manual, belonging to her current super- favorite video game, Gauntlet. Her love of digital entertainment was also a sturdy yield sign on her road to cheerleader-dom, but that didn't stop her from playing Nintendo from dawn until dusk.  
  
Also out of her backpack she revealed her CD player, and happily secured the earphones to her head, bouncing down the sidewalk to the theme of Dungeons and Dragons, oblivious to any judgments by passer-bys. Responsibility? Whatever, Lina preferred to be carefree of the demands in her world.  
  
And in ways that made her a better person than she got credit for.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Filia Ul Copt danced onto her patio, feet deliciously bare against the dewy concrete. She piroutted in her neglice, blond hair splaying gracefully around her slender figure with the movement. She loved the very pureness of morning- fresh and beautiful and unexpected, so much so she almost felt a part of it, a whisper in the trees or a nimble dryad. Saichuro was not yet awake, so she felt the morning peace was her own, a private, secluded secret she shared only with nature. She spun in her minimum of clothing some more, the road by the shrine was generally deserted because it was in a wealthy district, and most of its inhabitants were the elderly who had no children. So she worried not, until-  
  
A familiar purple blur rounded the curb, pausing, much to the maiden in question's distress, at her house. The aforementioned turned a brilliant shade of crimson.  
  
The purple blur was none other than Xelloss Metallium, the notorious swindling, practical joking, generally annoying, double-crossing, ever- smiling, indian-giving track runner. The shy, pale-faced members of the computer club feared him, the cheerleaders and jocks snubbed him, yet were leary of him, and Filia Ul Copt abused him. The only reason he wasn't dead was because of his star running skills.  
  
Filia, contrasting quite vastly, was a genuine straight-arrow. She was the goody-good daughter of a shrine owner, a vegetarian, and a grand valedictorian. She was also in choir, and naturally represented the best vocal talent. She was well-known, but quiet, which was sometimes interpreted as snobby. Her extremely high expectations caused her to become flustered when something stood in their way or broke into her perfect, undisturbed logical world. Something like Xelloss.  
  
Xelloss smiled indifferently. "Ohayo gozimas, Filia-chan," he said, wearing his perpetual grin, practically begging for his morning beating. This really made her blood boil. Was he mocking her?  
  
She covered herself protectively. "NAMAGOMI!!!!" In a swirl of vanity that defied all human laws of science, Filia surrendered her forlorn housecoat, and it, providing a moment's privacy, covered her as she shed her neglice, emerging fully clothed in her school uniform and as enraged as a hungry tiger.  
  
Xelloss scratched his neck, still grinning. "Yare, yare...."  
  
"HOW DARE YOU! HENTAI!" Filia screeched, so you could almost imagine the smoke pouring out of her ears. She grabbed a folding chair and immediately began pursuit, her anger evidently pumping her body with adrenaline.  
  
Smiling all the way, Xelloss put his athletic abilities to use, while Filia followed not far behind, chasing him like a woman possessed.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Somewhere, in a tidy, middle-class home, a middle-aged woman in a terry-cloth house robe and French curlers was frying bacon. The scene was so commonplace, and the subject such a poster for housewives eveywhere, that it could have taken place in anyone's kitchen. Until-  
  
Gourry Gabriev sat at the table, licking the icing from a large, jelly doughnut. His appearance reeked with football-player appeal, and, like all tough men, he loved his mother's homecooking. So there he sat, random, happy thoughts flickering around his small brain, as he ate doughnuts and listened to the frying pan sizzle. Simplistic, almost effortless morning ritual that guaranteed lots of big goofy mother-son smiles and hopeless remarking on the healthy appetites of big boys.  
  
Gourry pushed his chair away from the table, and stood. "Thanks Okaa- san," he said genuinely. "Your homemade doughnuts are the best."  
  
"Okaa-san" smiled tenderly. "It's nice to know my big boy has such a healthy appetite. I made them just for you, dear." Lots of smiles. Little do mothers know, but their homecooked goodness is probably pumping their sons full of fat and cholesterol.  
  
Gourry grabbed his gym bag. "Ja ne, Okaa-san," he offered while stepping out the door. "I'm going to school now."  
  
"Goodbye, my dear Gourry!" Okaa-san replied lovingly, sticking her head out the door and waving a handkerchief in her morning finery. "Make me proud!"  
  
"Bye, Okaa-san!" he called, charismatically slinging his gym bag over his shoulder in a way that would make girls swoon. His bronzed, muscular arms flexed as he waved.  
  
So thus his morning begun, no worries, no complications, just innocence. Typical in his case.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A large pair of blue eyes blinked, studying their reflection. Hands delicately smoothed down violet locks of hair. A girl, looking to be a freshman, posed for the mirror, stunningly perfected down to her polished loafers. She assumed a triumphant pose, admiring her handiwork. Yes, indeed, Amelia wil tesla Sailoon was ready to go to school.  
  
Amelia had a rich father, Philonel, who was the head of a large business tycoon. Therefore, of course she lived in a gigantic mansion, complete with hired, handsome servants and butlers and such. But, she was far from being a rich snob. The freshman was a constant ball of energy, obsessed with drama club and a straight-A student. (Although not quite the straight arrow Filia is.) And she was known to hang around with Lina's crowd, though, by her obviously preppy exterior, she could easily be an elite. But that's Amelia for you.  
  
"Amelia-san, your ride is waiting," a uniformed servant announced from the stairway, as picture perfect as a Disney feature. Full of energy, she bounded down the stairs, her designer leather backpack in tow, and through the elegantly carved mahogany doors thoughtfully held open by yet another servant. There, awaited the shiny, expensive white limosine, the door propped open by the chauffeur, exposing the red velvet interior.  
  
She slid in, smiling a smile that would make Martha Stewart cry, and comfortably seated herself, securing the seatbelt. She must carefully heed all of the laws and be looking out for her welfare. The chauffeur shut the door behind her and walked around, sidling in the driver's seat and turning the ignition key.  
  
"My directions, Amelia-san?" the loyal chauffeur inquired. Amelia practiced her "thoughtful" expression, then replied after careful contemplation. "Take the long route to school, I feel like a relaxing car ride this morning. And you don't have to stop to pick up any friends, just me. Okay?"  
  
"Very well, Amelia-san." They pulled out into the street and drove along at an aimable pace. In high spirits, she produced her copy of the latest play programme, and began a very soulful practice. Weren't mornings wonderful?  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Zelgadis Greyweirs yawned, and stumbled out of bed, running his hands through his hair. Then he threw his alarm clock across the room.  
  
The sun was already up in the sky, its rays filtering through the curtains. Assuming he wasn't going to get any more sleep, Zel picked up the alarm clock, reading the time. Seven-thirty. Crap. Only ten more minutes until he was supposed to leave. Fortunately, he was used to this phenomenon, and had gotten good at getting dressed and ready in the brief time. He didn't have to stand in front of a mirror for hours combing mousse through his hair, like most of the guys he knew. He was aware of what he was, and didn't change it. Not that mousse would help, anyway. The car wreck had seen to that.  
  
Shedding his pajamas for the school uniform, he dressed, and without a glance in the mirror's direction, trudged toward the bathroom. He spread toothpaste on the bristles of his brush, and cleaned his teeth mechanically, finshing with a final swish of water. There. School, here Zel comes. He drew up his battered school bag, stuffed with unfinished homework, and made his way to the door. He checked his watch. Seven-forty- five. He always left for school at the last moment possible, to avoid the sneers of the girls with their designer handbags, the taunts of the musclemen slinging running shoes over their shoulders.  
  
Years ago, or what seemed like years, Zel always lived in a sort of vaccuum where time mattered little, he and his mother had been out to do some grocery shopping. He was around five or six, at just the age to look forward to such things. Maybe if he begged enough Okaa-san would buy him some strawberry Pocky.  
  
He sat, radiating with little-kid carefree cheeriness, listening to his mother and providing suggestions for the shopping list. The sun was shining, maybe he'd even fingerpainted in kindergarten that day. He didn't recall. Because then something slammed into the car, and he couldn't remember much else, except metal crunching into his tiny body, and then dead silence, endless blackness. He found out later they were hit, by another driver who just wasn't paying attention. He and his mother recovered all right, in the physical sense, beside a few large scrapes that would probably always be there. But after that, Okaa-san wasn't Okaa-san anymore. She quit her job, and cried a lot, and sometimes forgot about taking care of Zel. He learned to fend for himself when she wasn't around. But life was hard for even him. Students at school teased, pointing at his scars. It hurt to see his friends being so cruel. Lots of times, he just ran to the bathroom to hide from them, crying and silently hating the man who collided with them. Mean thoughts for even a first-grader. And-  
  
Zel shook his head, smiling morosely. He didn't want to be troubled by those memories today. He had enough to deal with.  
  
The bell rang as he approached the school, deeming him tardy. It was another day, just like the rest.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
A cheerleading uniform traveled down the hallway. Or, at least, that's all the male population saw, anyway. Each was trying to get a glimpse of the trademark cleavage beneath it. Indeed, Naga Whiteserpent had enetered the building, surrounded by her posse of cheerleading buddies.  
  
Their blinding, powder blue and white varsity duds so clearly announced their position that they might as well have said "See this uniform? I'm a cheerleader!". The wearers strutted them for obvious emphasis, looking almost patronizing. And Naga was at the head of the group, batting her eyelashes at her cute boy-friends, greeting her fellow girl-friends with blow kisses, and taunting any pasty-complexioned loser in glasses.  
  
Naga wasn't really mean at heart, just a little lacking in the intelligence department. Her intentions were good, but she had no idea why boys kept fainting every time she wore a tube top to the cinema. And for heaven's sake, she thought lip gloss was good for you, and that she was actually doing all of the geeks a lesson in self-confidence when she regularlly made their lives miserable. She was utterly uninformed about how terribly manufactured she was, she took the whole bimbo-cheerleader package hook, line, and sinker. In fact, her idea of a fun afternoon had a lot to do with cheer practice, following Gourry around, giggling with her girlfriends, obsessing over Gourry, talking about Goury, making hearts around Gourry's name in the yearbook, reading fashion magazines, giving herself a pedicure, and making fun of the "losers". And, in particular, finding ways to retaliate against Lina Inverse.  
  
Lina stood out quite visibly in the crowd, once you spotted her hair amidst the flood of students. And, besides the fact that Naga assumed her an obstacle in the way of her quest to Gourry's throne, she would normally be humbly overlooked - the kind of spastic, violent, video-game obsessed girl friends with the scar-faced freak. But, unluckily for Lina, she made a mistake. She talked to Naga's Gourry, and Naga saw her.  
  
Technically Gourry wasn't Naga's, but everyone with an ounce of sense (or if you're Lina and you really just don't care) knew that she's had her eye on him, the star of the high school athletic program, and if Naga had her eye on someone, the rest of the population pretty much backed away, lest they meet a very painful demise. Except Lina. Naga was outraged someone dared to defy her monarchy! Determined to steamroll, like she was used to, the head of the squad was shocked to find that she was evenly matched with the five-four breastless wonder. And that really bugged her.  
  
The warning bell sounded, and the students thinned away as they hurried to class. So much for Lina-hunting. She tearfully departed from her circle of friends and headed to her first period class, where she would spend the duration writing "Naga and Gourry 4ever" in her Biology notebook.  
  
Just on time, the eight o' clock bell chimed, and school began again. Amused, Naga thought idly, 'I wonder what will happen today?'  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Hee hee, like the Zel thing, fangirls? I wrote it just for you. I estimate this could get really lengthy, so you'll have to stick around for the ride, as intended. But I'll know when to end.  
  
I'm pleased! Are you? Don't just stand, there, then, tell me what you thought! All thoughts welcome!  
  
Me: What will the next chapter be about, Xelloss-kun?  
  
Xel: .... Sore wa himitsu desu. *wink*  
  
Me: Exactly! So...... the faster you review, the faster I write!  
  
Ja ne next chappie! ~ 


	3. Ordinary Day

Everything But Education  
  
by Cooking Spray  
  
Disclaimer: As I've mentioned, I own nothing. Please don't sue me.  
  
Japanese Word Glossary  
  
Hinoday- Sunrise Takai- High Gauken-School Ara- Kind of like 'Oh' -chan- A cute way to address someone you are close to -san- Loosely translates as any courtesy title, i.e. Miss, Mrs. -sensei- Used when addressing an instructor, like your teacher -sempai- An upperclassman, shows respect. ne- Kind of like 'eh' or 'huh'. minna- 'Everyone', or 'everybody' Yatta- 'Yay' or 'Alright', a postive exclamation Namagomi- Raw garbage, Filia's pet name for Xelloss :P Okaa-san- Mother  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Chapter Two: Ordinary Day  
  
Letting the music pour from her soul, Filia struck a high note, her sweet, angelic voice clearly the most recognizable out of the black-and- white attired members of the Hinoday Takai Gauken Choir. Choir was one of the things she was truly passionate about, and it could not be denied that she had vocal talent. She could make 'Happy Birthday' sound like a beautiful ballad. The girl was that gifted.  
  
Finishing the song gracefully, Filia flushed as her classmates applauded, forming a circle around her. She found herself bathing in admiration.  
  
"Filia-chan, you sound so beauuuuuuuuuuuuutiful! I wish I had a voice like yours!" a skinny girl gushed, her fists clutched cutely beneath her chin.  
  
"Another great performance! How do you hit those high notes with such grace?" another mused admiringly.  
  
"We're surely going to finals!" was yet another exclamation.  
  
Her skin still slightly pink and practically radiating from within from praise, the shrine maiden's happiness was all but overflowing. The sensible, modern instructor also gave her a genuine, modest round of applause, nodding and pushing her glasses up on her head as she marked Filia's eighteenth consecutive perfect ten on the scoresheet. Once again, she had achieved absolute perfection. With some satisfaction, she sang requests from her classmates, swelling with inner pride.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Some considered it horribly kitschy to prance around in a uniform of any sort (a la' Naga), even the conservative attire of the Choir, a simple white Oxford and a pleated black skirt of formidible length. But Filia had became distinguished in it, and, not unlike the cheerleaders (though without the flirty flaunting), wore it with pride. But hers was a reserved pride. So, taking elegant strides, her books cradled girlishly beneath her arm, she traveled down the hall, still tingling from her performance. She had been wonderful, hadn't she?  
  
Snapping any thoughts that were formerly taking place, Lina saddled up to Filia, greeting her with the usual vivacity.  
  
"Hey, Fi-chan!" the shorter girl instilled, firey hair bouncing. She grinned.  
  
"Ara, hello, Lina-chan," Filia replied, open to conversation.  
  
Lina and Filia were a contrasting duo. While Lina was certainly fire, straight to the roots of her hair, Filia was remarkably water, with her cool-headed attitude. However, despite obvious surface differences, the girls both shared one thing: explosive, unpredictable tempers. This was the glue of their friendship boat. Filia even prefered her lesser half's electric personality, it guaranteed adventure, and even if it was sometimes met with apprehension at first, she usually ended up enjoying herself. Lina in turn counted on Filia's reasoning to get her out of dangerous scrapes. And if something was up, she could bet Filia noticed it.  
  
"Was it another vocal triumph?" her lesser inquired, noting the telltale flush of Filia's cheeks.  
  
This evoked a real smile. "Yes." She suddenly clasped her books to her chest, her large aquamarine eyes glistening with tears of happiness. "We are finally going to make it to finals! My heart is sure of it!" she exclaimed passionately. Filia spoke with passion on two subjects; Choir and Xelloss. The latter was more of passionate anger.  
  
"Congrats!" Lina crossed her arms behind her head, carelessly exposing her navel. She then rolled her eyes. "Here comes the the whole clique," she announced. Filia blinked and watched Naga's intimidating presence saunter down the hallway, exuding airs a mile thick. She tossed her melons seductively, seemingly headed straight for Lina.  
  
"Well, if it isn't Naga the cheerleader and her posse of cheerleading friends," Lina greeted as the foreboding group stopped before her, tossing hair, snapping gum, sharing giggles. Her voice was laced with sarcasm.  
  
The sarcasm whizzed over Naga's head like a ten-pound bowling ball. "Oh, naive Lina, you are just jealous of me and my beautiful friends," she said self-importantly, as if she were Aphrodite herself, descended from the heavens to provide other-wordly wisdom. "Tell me, have you grown at all since your tenth birthday?"  
  
"Eheeheehee!" chorused all of the cheer buddies.  
  
Lina was adamant. "How about this. Tell me, Naga, don't you have some other poor, unsuspecting creature to torture? Because, if you don't mind, I have a life to get on with, and it doesn't include you."  
  
Naga sighed huffily, arching her nose into the air. This... this.... unsignifigant girl was standing against her authority! She really hated that Lina Inverse, immune to her taunts and stealing her Gourry. "Hmph! Well, at least I have some respect for my schoolmates!" she announced dramatically, stomping off, followed by her five shadows.  
  
Lina sighed hugely. "She doesn't give up, does she? Well, at least it's clear she's not the brightest lightbulb in the bunch." Filia, always an observer from the sidelines, began walking quickly to class, Lina in stride.  
  
"She's so..... intimidating, or at least thinks she is," Filia assessed. "She has no enemies. Those who aren't her friends are the subjects of her ridicule, people like the Computer Club. That's why she hates you. You are her equal, and you refuse to let her steamroll you like she's used to."  
  
"Yeah, well, I'd be happy if she just grew some brain cells and left me alone. It's getting aggravating, you know." The object of the previous torment shrugged indifferently as they walked through the classroom door, bell chiming just as they entered the room. "But I guess that's life for you."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Konnichiwa, sempai!" Amelia greeted the figure exuberantly. Her hello was aimed at a particularly solitary-looking boy hunched over his notebook, scrawling problems onto the paper. When he didn't respond, she studied him closely. He stood out from the rest. His scars interested her.  
  
Amelia had been transferred from her normal Mathematics class to Pre- Calculus. The reason she hadn't seen this boy before was because their classes were on opposite hallways. Now she could spend time getting to know him. A brief look around the classroom revealed that most everyone was copying the boy's position, jotting down something in their notebook. Wow, must be a bunch of really dedicated workers, she observed.  
  
Her attention snapped back to the boy sitting beside her. She leaned over, looking directly at him, so that he couldn't mistake her subject.  
  
"Hi," she said again, smiling. "Need help?"  
  
His head jerked from the paper, staring in shock at the owner of the voice. "Ne? Who are you......"  
  
Those scars were very intriguing. She definitely wanted to get to know him now. "Amelia Sailoon. I transferred to this class to take advanced math. And you are......?"  
  
"Zelgadis......... Greyweirs," he replied uncertainly. He wasn't used to talking to anyone but Lina and Co., but now he found himself thrust into a conversation with this transfer student. And the strange thing was, it was an actual conversation, not just another name-calling. He was still proccessing it.  
  
"Cool name," she chirped, unaware that she was really throwing Zel for a loop. She leaned over to examine the problems. "Wow, difficult."  
  
Zelgadis felt dazed, like he'd been out in the sun for too long. "Yeah," he replied, in a voice that belonged to a man from a dream world. Why was this girl......... this Amelia........ giving him so much kindness? Didn't she notice he was a freak and should be treated accordingly? Still confused about this random act, he plodded on, feeling it couldn't hurt. "The sensei is strict, so you'll have to pull your weight."  
  
"Oh, that's easy. I live to surpass myself," she said positively, her face still smiling brightly. Then her eyes flounced open. "Ara! I know!" She began to fish a sheet of paper from her binder. "Do you have instant messaging?" she asked questioningly.  
  
Zel nodded.  
  
"Yatta!" She scribbled something down on the piece of loose leaf, and handed it to him. "Here, there's my screen name. Give me yours and we can talk!"  
  
Her cheerfulness towards him seemed to evaporate any doubt or otherwise hesitation. In his own cramped handwriting, he copied down her request, next to the reflective, rounded letters of her own. Tearing Amelia's from the paper and handing his back to her, he watched for a reaction in the same dazed manner.  
  
"Good!" Her smile had the voltage of an 120-watt bulb. "Making friends is so nice, ne?"  
  
Normally, Zel couldn't have related to the comment, but today he thought he understood what she meant, for the very first time.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
True to the namesake of the school, the sun shone obediently, illuminating the unearthly green-ness of the field, dew reflected like crystal sculptures. And Gourry, golden in another way, was stretched out beneath it all, easy-going grin adhered to to his strong face. He was warming up with the sun, preparing for a long run. Oblivious to salivitating onlookers, he rose, bulging tendons flexing in his taut skin. The female population feasted their eyes hungrily.  
  
Physical education was an important part of Hinoday Takai Gauken, despite its boasts of acedemic inclinement. Basically, if you were the short, scrawny boy with an asthma problem, somehow your grades took a nosedive. It was biased, yes, but that's how people like Gourry managed not fail. What he lacked in intelligence, he made up for in brute strength. And, naturally being the star of the entire athletic program (he made the team no matter what he tried out for), this helped immensely.  
  
Another factor to consider was the gender separation of gym classes. Although the actual changing, for reasons quite obvious, was done seperately, the instructors seemed to take a convenient vacation once everyone was out on the field together, thus allowing both parties to intermingle if they pleased. And, if you were an attractive young lady, and you were lucky enough to have third period P.E. with Gourry Gabriev, you immediately abandoned your excercises and watched Gourry do his.  
  
Unless, of course, your name was Lina Inverse.  
  
Who marched straight on up to him, having completed her own warm-ups, and launched into conversation. Gourry's fan club grew fangs and glared with dangerous vemenence.  
  
"Heya, Gourry!" she greeted casually.  
  
"Ara, hi, Lina," the stud muffin responded with ease.  
  
"I see you have quite a crowd of admirers. I'm surprised they haven't brought popcorn," the shorter girl said slyly. Gourry, of course, had no clue what she was talking about.  
  
Gourry blinked. "A-ano........"  
  
She smiled again, aborting Gourry's mental struggle. "Fresh air feels great, ne?" When in doubt, talk about the weather.  
  
"Huh?" The blonde's mental banks processed this information, still in confusion about the last comment. A light bulb flicked on. "Oh, yeah! Helps me with my excercises. Say, Lina, do you have any of those really cool video games? Because I'd really like to borrow one. You see, my cousin Piper is coming over, and-"  
  
"That's nice, Gourry," Lina interjected, rapidly changing the subject. She wasn't in the mood to hear another one of his family legends. "Come over anytime!"  
  
"Oh, wow! Could you show me how to get to this one level? I was having trouble with it, and you're really good so I was wondering...." Trouble was not an uncommon phenomenon in Gourry's life, considering his low amount of brain cells.  
  
"Sure, sure," Lina obliged, not wanting the extra flattery. Gourry was rambling again. Sighing, Lina plastered a grin on her face and pretended to listen avidly. Much as she favored the doornail's company, she really hoped class ended soon.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Something ricocheted off of the back of Filia's definitive golden head, disrupting the calamity of her note-taking. A small ball of paper fell to the floor, bouncing once and halting as it hit the leg of her chair. Agitated, she snatched it from its resting place and un-wadded the paper. After carefully reading the message on its interior, the universal symbol of anime anger popped onto her forehead. The message had read:  
  
Hello, Filia-chan!  
  
It even came complete with a replica of the sender, smiling most patronizingly.  
  
Eyes already blazing, she jerked her head back to divert her anger to the mentioned causer of destruction. Xelloss smiled innocently at her. Her eyes glinted, and she turned around in a huff, silently fuming.  
  
"So you see, minna, the cytoplasm is located directly inside the membrane of the cell, while the chromatin is the hereditary material inside the nuclear membrane. Next, I will describe the process of mitosis. Be sure you are taking good notes, a pop quiz could happen anytime."  
  
The predictable, achingly nasal voice of the sensei calmed Filia's nerves a bit, and she slowly forgot her rage as she gleefully copied down the phases of cell reproduction. Order and safety had been installed once more. And then-  
  
Another paperball collided with her skull, thus shattering the scientific reverie. She glared a handful of sharp, polished daggers at the guilty party, who smirked and revealed an armada of paper weapons. One sat right in his open palm, taunting her. Hot anger surged through her veins. Once class was over, she would give him the brutality he deserved-  
  
No, you must remain calm. You are above his childish antics. Show that you are a mature person and ignore him!  
  
Filia spun around daintily, nose upheld. She copied her notes like a dignified young lady, even sucking up to the sensei by beaming and nodding with enthusiasm.  
  
"....the cell spends the duration of its life in Interphase then, after the membrane disappears........"  
  
Wham. A larger wad of paper smacked her upside the head. She twitched, shoulders beginning to tremble in warning. The violet-haired trickster pushed on. Another struck her. Then another. And another. Her fists protruded, whole body shaking in an effort to restrain the anger. You must remain calm. He is provoking you. Getting mad would only be the reaction he wants. You must remain calm. You must remain-  
  
Filia snatched the flying projectile out of the air and shot up on her feet, glaring dangerously at an intensity Xelloss was sure candle wax would melt under. Her fangs were bared and arms extended stubbornly at her sides, hands crushed into fists. Students squirmed at the transformation of angel into demoness, knowing well the potential of her temper. They were not all athletes, after all.  
  
"Filia-san, can you explain to me why you interrupt my class by abruptly standing up in the middle of a lecture?"  
  
Xelloss smiled amusedly, obviously having recieved the desired results. Filia gave him a last withering look before turning to the sensei, who was impatiently stomping his foot. Color crept easily into her cheeks, and she bowed, deeply ashamed. Xelloss yawned, bored after having accomplished his task, and began copying someone else's notes.  
  
"Please forgive me, sensei-sama, it will not happen again," she apologized, gravely mortified with her un-ladylike behavior.  
  
"It had better not. Sit, and we will resume." No one dared to chuckle.  
  
Filia slumped miserably over her notebook, exposed and embarrassed. And all because of that darn namagomi Xelloss. Why must he make her temper flare so?  
  
Her anger dissolved by her disgrace, she dismally resumed writing, sulking slightly as she caught sight of a still-grinning Xelloss.  
  
Well, that was certainly entertaining. I'll have to formulate another tactic for History. The prodigous practical joker grinned more broadly at this stream of thought and continued editing the list of assignments he'd found from the principal on the algebra sensei's desk.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
By all rights, Lina Inverse loved food. Not in the same way gastronomical human blimps adored Twinkies (they're the kind of people you're almost afraid to light a match around), but still, she valued it. And her body was most adept to these eating habits, as her metabolism effieciently burned off any poundage. So, the first thing she did when she stepped inside her house after school was dispose of her homework, gather a hefty variety of snack foods, and chow down while playing her favorite RPG.  
  
Which, of course, it being a weekday, was exactly what she was doing now. She was so absorbed in the rythmic chomping of her jaws and the heroic roars of her video game that she almost didn't hear the phone ring.  
  
Right at the crucial moment of gameplay, just as she was about to conquer the mighty Red Inferno Dragon, the telephone interrupted. Her hero was smoldered by dragon-fire in a fraction of a second and a 'Game Over' screen had cheerfully applied itself to the television set. Lina grumbled and made a mad dash for the phone, pressing the 'Talk' button and answering with a very impatient "Hello?"  
  
"Lina-chan, honey, it's me. I was just calling to see if we needed any toilet paper. Can you check and see if we have some?"  
  
She grumbled once more and muttered a surly 'Sure' before trudging off to check the storage closet. There, as usual, were plenty of economy- sized packages of Charmin, so many that you could have mistook it for a display in the supermarket.  
  
"Yes, Okaa-san, we have toilet paper. Lots of toilet paper. You don't need to buy any."  
  
"Are you sure? Because you can never be too certain of things, you know-"  
  
"Okaa-san, we're fine."  
  
"Well, alright, if you say so. Take care, dear, I'll be home by six."  
  
"Bye." She placed the phone back in the cradle and sighed heavily, slumping against the wall. She had been about to conquer the extremely difficult Red Inferno Dragon, and her mother spoils her chance to call about, of all things, toilet paper. Disappointed and slightly agitated, she returned to her food. Many things in life could make Lina lose her temper, but few could make her lose her appetite.  
  
"Well, then," she conceded, taking a bite out of a Swiss Roll, "I guess it's just an ordinary day."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Okay, up to this point, the story has been little more than clever introductory, and warming up for the swing of things, so to speak. So, next chapter will begin the story, and it won't all be disoriented well-written vingettes, really. The prologue ceases here.  
  
Please, if you're reading, feel free to drop me any criticisms, comments, the like. I, like most ff.net users, love my reviews and my reviewers. They give me such motivation! Even critique is helpful, if done nicely. Remember, if you seek me out, I'll seek you out.  
  
Tis' all, for now. Ja ne!  
  
Chapter Preview: Amelia is introduced to Lina and Co. by Zel. Gourry accepts her immediately, but Filia and Lina aren't so sure........ hilarity and good ol' Sailoon values ensue. And is ice cream really the secret to happiness? 


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